Do you feel worthless? Then I’ll be blunt:
You were fooled. Yes, really. You were fooled — a trick was played on your subconscious about your worth, and you fell for it. What’s more, you were little at the time, and your mind wasn’t yet able to see through the trick. How? Let me explain.
Why I’m So Focused on Worthlessness
First, let me tell you why I’m so preoccupied with the feeling of worthlessness. It’s because, in the subconscious work I do, it turns out to be the single most important cause behind so many of my clients’ problems.
Struggling with relationship dependency? The cause is most likely a feeling of worthlessness.
Lacking self-confidence? Most likely a feeling of worthlessness.
Finding it hard to say no? Most likely a feeling of worthlessness.
Always compromising yourself? Most likely a feeling of worthlessness.
Does your partner take you for granted? Do I even need to tell you the reason anymore?
In short, worthlessness is one of the deepest root causes shaping our behaviour patterns. So where does this feeling — which has spread like a virus into every area of our lives — come from?
Every Chronic Feeling Has a Source
No chronic feeling appears out of nowhere. Underneath every chronic feeling (or negative subconscious code) there is always, without exception, one or more events or traumas. And those events very, very likely happened in childhood.
Let’s look at some examples of what makes people feel worthless:
Example one: Mia is constantly compared to her cousins by her grandfather as a child, and they’re always given more attention than she is. The result? Mia starts telling herself, “So I must be worthless,” and sees herself that way for the rest of her life. As a result, she lives with all the problems worthlessness brings: relationship dependency, not being able to say no, needless self-sacrifice, unrealistic expectations and so on.
Another example: Henry’s father doesn’t give him enough attention or love. It feels as though his father wouldn’t care if he died. The result? Henry starts telling himself, “So I must be worthless,” and carries that belief through his whole life — with all the same problems.
Still not convinced? One more: Sophie’s mother loves Sophie’s older sister more. She constantly criticises Sophie and looks down on her. The result? Sophie starts telling herself, “So I must be worthless,” and sees herself that way for the rest of her life — with all the same problems.
In the end, Mia, Henry and Sophie interpret everything else that happens to them as “This happened because I’m worthless,” and so the feeling and the belief grow stronger and stronger.
So tell me: was Mia worthless? Was Henry? Or Sophie?
Option A or Option B?
If a grandfather favours one grandchild and doesn’t love or value his other, seven-year-old grandchild, what does that mean?
Option A: That seven-year-old is a worthless, useless child.
Option B: That grandfather is an unaware, ignorant man.
Of course, the right answer is Option B. For heaven’s sake — if a child isn’t valued by their father, grandfather or mother, does that make them worthless and useless? Never. If it did, you’d have to say that every child in care is worthless. Or that every baby abandoned by heartless parents was worthless and deserved to be abandoned.
Could you bring yourself to say that, even for a moment?
If parents fail to value their child or abandon them because they are heartless and unaware, it’s not because the child is worthless — it’s because the parents are heartless and unaware. The same is true for Mia, Henry and Sophie. If their parents and grandparents didn’t show them the attention and value they deserved, it wasn’t their fault.
No One Else Can Determine Your Worth
Parents’ behaviour doesn’t determine a child’s worth. Your parents’ behaviour doesn’t determine your worth either. And not only your parents — no one else’s behaviour can EVER determine your worth! Only you determine your own worth.
So how did you come to feel worthless? Because you were a child, and you couldn’t analyse events rationally the way we’re doing now. Because you were the one living through those events, and you couldn’t lift your head above those intense emotions to look at them calmly.
So you were fooled without knowing it. But now you know the truth. No one else can put a price on you. Only you can determine your worth.
Now go back and look at each event that made you feel worthless — one by one, through these eyes. See each one this way, and notice how empty the foundation of your worthlessness really is.
Your feeling of worthlessness has no foundation. None whatsoever!
How others treat you doesn’t determine your worth. It only shows what kind of people they are.
You are valuable — enormously so!
You are special — enormously so!
No one like you has ever come into this world, and no one like you ever will again. Your existence adds colour to the world. You more than deserve to love yourself.
Don’t let anyone fade your colours!
Don’t let anyone put a price on you.
Let me say it once more:
Your feeling of worthlessness has no foundation.
None whatsoever!
Seeing this intellectually is the first step; clearing the emotional charge of those memories is the second. Learn how ClearMind™ coaching does exactly that.