Anna had been so unhappy lately… In her thirty-six years she had always been fighting one problem or another — especially over the last four. Her boyfriend, who had never valued her and then cheated on her on top of it all, had left her bitter towards life. Her dreams of marriage had come to nothing. Earthquakes had always shaken her life, but none had been this destructive. Time felt like an hourglass running against her, and every grain of sand that fell became a burning ember in her heart. She had collapsed emotionally and started taking medication, and lately her health problems had flared up too. The doctors hadn’t been able to make a clear diagnosis; the final results would come in a few weeks. She was miserable at work as well… Her boss, Mr Miller, and his endless pressure had turned her life into a nightmare.
All day long, thinking about these things had filled her mind with black clouds. The clouds kept moving, but the lightning never stopped. Tending the tiny garden behind her house was her greatest hobby — but it was just as much of a mess as the thoughts in her head. Ugly weeds had taken over far more of it than the flowers she loved. Every time she picked up the hose to water the garden, she’d fixate for minutes on the ugly weeds — and, without realising it, she always ended up watering them. While she kept staring at the bad parts of the garden, the few beautiful flowers she had left had withered away.
The more she looked at the weeds, the more she remembered her troubles and cried, and she never got round to the beautiful flowers. Just like the other beautiful things in her life, she was losing them one by one.
Even though it was cold, she went out into the garden again today. She believed the cool wind eased the fire inside her. Yet each time, the shrinking flames fed on the air and came back stronger. She had just started listing her troubles one by one, staring at the weeds, when she heard someone cough. Anna looked up. In front of her stood a man of about eighty with a kind, clean-shaven face.
“Oh, my dear girl,” said the old man. “Had you watered the flowers, would these weeds have spread? Sorrow can’t live, my dear, unless it is fed.”
Anna froze. Who was this old man with a poet’s soul, and what was he trying to tell her?
The old man leaned in towards her ear:
“Anna, my child — your life is just as full of weeds as this garden, isn’t it?”
Anna swallowed. “Yes… but how do you know that? And how do you know my name is Anna?”
The old man smiled. “God doesn’t give you your sorrows so they become your fate. He gives them so that you can be grateful and grow stronger. And some people appear in your life just when you least expect them,” he said, his voice a little stronger now.
Anna still didn’t understand. But this man had to be some kind of sage. The old man went on:
“My lovely girl, your life is just like this garden. It has as many weeds as it has beautiful flowers. Flowers grow with care; weeds grow with neglect. Every time you see the weeds, you remember how precious your flowers are. The water flowing from the hose in your hand is the grace God has given to your life. Wherever you point it, that’s what blooms; wherever you don’t, that’s what withers. And the shears you never use in this garden are your power to remove things from your life. If you don’t know how to use them at the right time, the weeds take over everything. Before long they drain the soil of all its nourishment. Just like the people you can’t seem to let go of, the job you can’t bring yourself to quit, the relationship you didn’t end when you should have… Everything you fail to end in time will one day end you. Just like… just like…”
The old man paused, as if about to say something painful.
“Just like the tumour that will form in your body within a few months…”
Anna was stunned. A tumour? How could this wise man with a poet’s soul possibly know all this?
The old man smiled. “Don’t be afraid. You still have a chance to prevent it. The One who gives the trouble also gives the mercy. Only don’t betray what has been entrusted to you. Don’t ruin the life you’ve been given with sorrow.”
Anna’s eyes filled with tears. Forgetting even to wonder who the old man was, she began to cry. Her mistakes on one side and the fear of death on the other had taken hold of her whole body. Shivering, breathless, she wept. She had made so many mistakes, and she regretted them. Life was no longer a match between sorrow and happiness; it had become a contest between life and death — and this time she was about to lose by a landslide. She regretted everything, and she would change, whatever it took! Perhaps life was an enemy, and she had very few bullets left in this war that had backed her into a corner.
Thinking all this, she lifted her hands to the sky and cried out: “Thank you, God — thank you for opening my blind eyes by sending me this old man. Thank you for giving me back to myself. I won’t betray what you’ve entrusted to me. I swear I won’t!” When she turned back towards the old man, she realised he had vanished. Where could such an old man have gone so quickly? Or had the antidepressants finally made her lose her mind? “Hey! Sir! Where are you?” she shouted.
***
At that moment the phone rang and she jolted awake. She had fallen asleep in the garden; it had all been a dream. “Anna, Anna, where are those reports?” It was the voice of her grumpy boss, Mr Miller. She was working from home today because she wasn’t feeling well, and the pills had made her drowsy again. It may have been a dream, but what she had heard was the plain truth. It was as if a higher power had tried to send her a message — and what happened next in her life was now up to her. She pulled herself together. “Of course, Mr Miller, I’ll email the reports in a moment.” But the email that went to Mr Miller wasn’t the reports. It was her resignation letter from the workplace she had given years of effort to and been mistreated in. She had made the first cut with her shears — and next in line were the rest of the weeds, and the flowers waiting to bloom.
She practically ran from her computer back to the garden. This time the cold wind warmed her inside. Eagerly, she picked up her shears and began cutting the weeds.
***
Exactly two months had passed, and Anna had devoted them to pulling herself together and changing her life. With her shears she had cut quite a few weeds out of her life. Day by day she grew stronger. For the first time in years, there was colour in her cheeks and a smile on her face. Her health problems were behind her too — so much so that she hadn’t even gone to collect her test results. Meanwhile, through a friend, she had met Ben, a decent and very handsome man, who admired her strength and confidence and had begun to see her as the love of his life. She’d been so busy changing her life that she hadn’t even had time to look for a job — until three days ago, when she applied to the hospital where her friend Vivian worked. But she was happy; everything was falling into place.
***
Her phone buzzed with an unknown number. It was the hospital she had applied to, inviting her to an interview the next day. Getting a reply to her very first application filled her with a warm sense of peace. Anna needed just one more goal — because her savings had now run out.
The next morning she put on her best clothes and some light, flattering make-up. She hoped to rise today on the tips of her black heels. Ben drove her to the hospital for the interview.
This could be her next workplace. Guided by Alice, the smiling receptionist, she walked towards the office of the hospital’s owner, Professor Hale. When the door opened, Anna’s jaw dropped! Her arms went weak and her bag fell to the floor. The man in front of her was none other than the old man she had seen in her dream two months earlier. Goosebumps covered her skin; she tried to hide her tear-filled eyes.
As if he weren’t the least bit surprised by her reaction, Professor Hale said calmly, “Welcome, Anna. I’ve been expecting you.”
Anna didn’t know what to say. She just swallowed, managed a shaky “Hello,” and only just made it to the blue armchair in front of her.
How could the man from her dream be sitting in front of her? Her mind had simply stopped.
With his gentle smile, Professor Hale took a deep breath and began:
“Anna, a few months ago you came to our other branch for an examination. Unfortunately, your results weren’t encouraging. A tumour was developing in your body and spreading. A terrible illness that no medication could stop — one that could only be overcome with strong spirits. We had to find a solution. But telling you directly wouldn’t have helped at all. My conscience made me feel responsible. We had to save a life. So I asked your psychiatrist, Dr Evans, for a little information about your life, and exactly two months ago I paid a visit to your house.”
Anna was in shock after shock. What she had seen two months ago hadn’t been a dream. Her eyes filled with tears.
Professor Hale smiled and went on:
“You are a very strong person. Since you didn’t even feel the need to collect your test results, your illness must have improved significantly. I arranged, through our colleague Vivian, for you to apply here. Because when you raised your hands and prayed, your eyes were shining with a love of life and a longing to succeed. I was deeply moved. I wanted to work with someone like that.”
Anna sat frozen. The missing pieces were falling into place one by one. She felt an enormous debt of gratitude to this old man who had saved her life. She wanted to hug him and thank him, but her stunned body couldn’t even do that.
Professor Hale leaned slowly towards the desk and said, in a trembling voice:
“I won’t ask you any dull interview questions, Anna. But I can only give you this job on one condition.”
Anna was ready to accept any condition. She was ready to do whatever it took. In a match she’d been losing 10–0, she had chosen life, not death. She wasn’t afraid of anything. In a strong but trembling voice she said:
“Please, go ahead. You gave me back my life. Whatever you ask is yours. I’m ready to do whatever it takes.”
Anna’s courage was enough to bring tears to Professor Hale’s eyes too:
“When you get home, I’d like you to send me a photograph of your garden. If it’s green and blooming, you can start tomorrow.”
Tears began rolling down Anna’s cheeks, and she threw her arms around him. Professor Hale couldn’t hold back either, and the grown man began to cry like a little boy. Two people who barely knew each other, yet whose fates seemed bound together, sobbed in each other’s arms. Anna tried to wipe her tears and managed to pick up her phone from the bag she’d dropped. Despite the tears falling on the screen, she unlocked it and, sobbing, showed him the photo of her garden she had taken the evening before.
She could start tomorrow…
What are you watering in your own garden? If old weeds keep growing back, ClearMind™ coaching can help you clear them at the root.