Do you feel you have too many troubles, too many problems in life? Like what, for example? Does your manager get on your nerves? When your partner annoys you, are you tempted to give them a piece of your mind? Have your health worries turned you into a self-taught medical specialist? Or did the man you have a crush on just call you “a really good friend”?
What else? “Oh, I have such big problems — you could pave a motorway with them”? Do you tell the people closest to you about these problems? When did you last pour your heart out to your friends? Winter’s here, too — have you washed your trusty depression cardigan and got it ready for the season?
What Would You Feel Without Your Problems?
So how would you feel if you had none of these problems? Sorry? “Like a beauty queen”? I think you should feel like that already — apart from a couple of extra pounds, what’s missing? But jokes aside — what if you really had no problems at all in your life… No troubles to tell people about, no unhappiness, no hardship, nothing to upset you… What if, when you heard a sad song, it didn’t bring back memories and sorrows, and you just thought, “What a mopey song”… What if the word “problem” only meant a maths question, and you didn’t even know what melancholy was — would you feel something was missing from your life?
I’m asking seriously. Stop and think. Wouldn’t something actually be missing?
What would that missing thing be called? Which link would slip out of your life?
If you didn’t express yourself through your troubles and sorrows, if you didn’t hit rock bottom in melancholy, would there be much left? Because the truth is, you get something out of your problems. Having troubles, being unhappy, makes you feel special and important. Come on, admit it — saying “I’m such a different, special person that I have all these problems” secretly feels good. Without your problems, would you feel naked? What would you complain about over coffee with friends? Why would people pity you, say “oh dear” and treat you as special? How would your ego be fed?
We Love to Feel Things Intensely
It isn’t only the “magic” power of problems. Our emotions come into it too. People love to feel their emotions intensely. We want to experience happiness, excitement and love at full strength. But what if we can’t experience them in our lives, and can’t find the strength in ourselves to do so? Then we head for the other extreme: sorrow, unhappiness and depression. Have you ever wondered why people enjoy a melancholy evening so much? Why sad songs are so popular? Normally, nobody wants to be unhappy. But when you’re unhappy, you want to fan the flames. Because people love to live their emotions at the extremes.
Either you live happiness to the full, or unhappiness… But unhappiness is sweet — because it’s easy to get, and people feel sorry for you, pity you and look after you. They make everything easier for you. Happiness, on the other hand, is hard. You have to be strong to sustain it. You have to take care of yourself and maintain yourself. No, looking after your hair isn’t enough — you need to look after your soul too. The happier you are, the less people will pity you. On the contrary, some will envy your happiness and energy. In other words, happiness has a price too. Are you ready for all that?
Two Options
Now you have two options in front of you: happiness and unhappiness. Are you one of those who say, “I’m fine like this — just moping along”? Then let’s all say it together: “Let the world go to hell!” I don’t see any harm in it. I wish you happiness with your unhappiness, forever and ever.
Now, what about those who say, “Yes — from now on I want to be strong and happy despite my problems”? If you’ve chosen the second option, congratulations! Happiness is on its way to you. The universe may not drop everything and come running to you — but you’ll take your happiness from the universe yourself. Yes, there may be a challenging process ahead. But as you take care of yourself and focus on feeling good, you’ll become a completely different person.
Being unhappy feeds your ego. That’s why there are so many unhappy people around. Being happy feeds life and everyone around you — but first of all, your own soul…
So what are you waiting for?
Come on — everybody put your hands in the air!