We Confuse Love and Excitement

What is love? What is excitement? Is excitement a part of love? Does love mean focusing on one person and melting with them?

We hear these romantic phrases a lot:

“I’m so in love with you that I can’t see anyone else but you.”

“I dream of you all the time, my mind is obsessed with you.”

“When I see you, my heart feels like it’s going to explode.”

“Butterflies have been flying inside me since the first time I saw you.”

Looking at the sentences above you might say “Wow, what a romantic and beautiful sentences they are”. But, even if you want to have a relationship with such sentences, I have bad news for you. Unfortunately, none of the sentences above have anything to do with love.

“Are you crazy, is there more to love than that? If this is not love, then what is love?” A question like this might come to your mind. Let me explain. The sentences above are not the work of love, but of excitement, in other words, passion.

So What is Excitement?
Excitement: The name given to a very intense, but temporary, hormonal attraction that you feel for someone of the opposite sex, mostly from physical and partly from psychological origin. Excitement is a gift of nature to us. Its purpose is to be a tool that enables two people who do not know each other to get closer to each other and to be attracted to each other like a magnet. Otherwise, why can’t two strangers get together and look forward to getting to know each other so much?

Our hormones completely change our body chemistry when we are excited. The attraction and excitement are sometimes so strong that it can act like a drug on you. You can go around hypnotically just imagining “that person” and thinking of “that person” morning and night. All your energy is focused in one place. You cannot think of anything else. Butterflies can fly inside you. “How did I fall in love all of a sudden!” you can say. However, it does not show how much you are in love, but how excited you are. It shows how your hormones are playing tricks on you. Because excitement is completely hormonal and temporary. Because the sole purpose was to get you closer to each other when you didn’t know each other yet.

Yes, excitement is a very good feeling. Yes, absolutely live to the fullest and enjoy this insane, fiery hot passion running through your body. But know that it is impossible for this excitement to continue all the time. The excitement must subside. It has to decrease significantly, even if not completely. Because, as I mentioned at the beginning, excitement has a drug effect. You move away from yourself and your only focus becomes “that person”. This may sound very “romantic”, but can you stay like this for the rest of your life? Excitement is a drug that allows you to escape from yourself. You can’t live a lifetime running away from yourself. You need to get on with your life and get back to your normal routine somehow.

And after a while, nature begins to make the necessary arrangements and gradually reduce your excitement. Now life is back to “normal”. Gone are your high “hot” days. You can continue with your life from where you left off. However, in this case, most people fall into the following misconception:

“I am no longer in love with him / her”

If there is nothing left after your excitement is over, there is no “love” anyway! But because we confuse love with excitement, we are always chasing excitement. No matter how hard we run, what we’re after isn’t really love, it’s just a temporary, biological urge. After a while, it is highly possible that you will constantly seek this feeling of excitement in your life and become dependent on it.

For this reason, it is useful to question what we know about love again. Yes, for now, I only talked about excitement in this article. However, I will be talking about “love” in my future posts. In fact, if I continue this as a series of articles, I am sure that many of us will have their answers to questions in minds about love.

With love…