Fear of Losing

One of the sources of the biggest problems in relationships is fear of losing.  Some people can mask it under love by saying “A lover is the one who fears losing”, yet the underlying reason is mainly a relationship addiction, not love…

If you have a person whom you fear losing, ask yourself: “How am I gonna feel if I lose him/her?” Please be honest and answer this question honestly. Which need of yours is met in this relationship? Are you into this relationship just because of some of your emotional needs?

If your purpose is to meet a need, rather than sharing your life, then you’re screwed. Because, probably you are addicted and fearful of losing your beloved. Because, probably you feel more precious, important and loved in this relationship. And you’ll no longer feel that much precious, important and loved without this relationship.

Ok, then. What is the solution?
You need to stop seeing the relationship to meet your needs.

 

If you start a relationship out of a need, then it’s inevitable to get addicted and fearful of losing. – Turker Manavoglu

If a relationship becomes a need for you, you’ll probably experience fights, quarrels, nagging and other ongoing problems. But, when a relationship becomes a platform for sharing your life, then all you need to do is enjoying it. Because, you will have transformed your relationship approach to “giving”, not “receiving”. Because you are now enjoying “giving” something, rather than being in need of “receiving”.